MMmmmm

Mmmm. Today is a yummy sort of day. (Not counting the parking ticket I got this morning, but I have a "courtesy" thing where they'll ignore the first ticket.) From now on, I must be very careful.

And today was snb, and I'm starting a new project with some yummy merino yarn. I want to say Maladrigo or malabrido or soemthing (too lazy to go get the tag from upstairs). But it is so smooth feeling. I'm making a hat (I only wanted to buy one skein of yarn when I went shopping that one time).

But before we went to SnB, Andi, Ann, Vera, Juniper and I went to Sakura for sushi (well, they did; I went for tempura and gyozas). But since last time I ordered just tempura and gyozas, I was still a little hungry, so I decided to order the gyoza and the tempura udon (noodle soup). What I did not realize, though, was that the tempura udon came with miso soup (yum) and a side salad. So those were nice and light, but by the time I finished my gyoza and my sides, I was starting to get full when my tempura udon came out. Not only were the noodles in a gigantic bowl, but the tempura came on a separate place. Gigantic, too.

Vera looked at me with her expressive face, How are you going to finish that?!!

The answer: I didn't. I have lunch for tomorrow. This is a week of leftovers!

And...a book I was coveting for two years (blame it on the ex-boyfriend, who loved this series) came back into print--Culinaria Germany--and it's great...lots of pictures and nostalgia. My regret is that there are not enough recipes (for some of the yummy treats, like they have pictures of krapfen but no recipes, and this is really the time to have those Lenten treats...I should check to see if my other German cookbook has recipes for those...

Anyway the other thing I love is that I will look at pictures of lovely things (or nostalgic things like Schweinshax'n or beer, or the breads and bread dumplings, and then turn the page and see something like this:

(Luckily for me, that was on a section on "Germany in the 1950s", so there are a couple pics of aspics. And also this "Hawaiian toast" which basically looks like a slice of toasted bread, with a slice of ham, a slice of pineapple, and melted cheese (and I think a maraschino cherry?) on the middle, and it's been toasted, so the cheese has been melted. But my favorite was the stuffed trout. (click on the picture to see it a little bigger. It's funny). Ah, the height of haute cuisine...not.

Or how about this one:

Yes. It DOES say "Pickled lungs" and "Fried udders". There's a whole page on offal, with accompanying recipes. This is definetely one section that I will skip.

I'm fascinated, though, as I dont' remember seeing this kind of stuff offered in too many places (though I think I may have seen another Lüngerl dish offered at some more traditional restaurant.

Needless to say, that was not something I ordered.

I'll leave you, dear reader, with something more appetizing than fried udders and pickled lungs.

(These are krapfen, which I love. They have them at the local Acme, but they have a different name there. I think it's called Pazckis or something. I can't spell it but it's pronounced push-keys or something like that.

Very yummy. And maybe that restores your faith in German foods.

Beads, hat, stuff

I have been busy with school. It goes without saying: As soon as you finish reading something, there's one more thing to read. Ad infinitum. One of the MA/PhD students and I were discussing the never-ending pile of articles, books, and chapters that we have to read. We despair. We have so little time, and what time we have, we spend reading. (And obviously, writing an entry on the blog).

So, in the meantime, I have finished a hat. I could have used it last Monday, when temperatures were -2 degrees with a windchill of something like -15. Ugh. In any case, it's DONE. And here it is:

Of course, this picture is completely sideways. I'm too lazy to open a picture editor to put it up the way it's supposed to be.

And my boyfriend got me a Hello Kitty Waffle Iron for Valentine's Day. I then bought myself my own Valentine's Day gift, which I am lovin' and I am trying to think of other special occasions where I can spoil myself by buying even more things.

Here is my bracelet, with some new pretty charms:

I am so in love with my trollbead bracelet. Sigh. I cant' wait to fill the whole thing up, even if it means spending tons of money. I figure I can buy one or two a month, and I'm dropping very obvious hints to the boyfriend that I would like to have more charms. Even though I think the Hello Kitty waffle iron is cute.

And today... I got myself a snow day! And I don't have to teach tomorrow, since classes are cancelled till 11 AM tomorrow! But who knows, I still have things to do! And places to go! Unless it snows really bad tomorrow night, I'm going to be at SnB!

And oooh...I am signing up for the Secret Pal Round 10...totally excited about this! Well, off to snack some more and then do some more readings for class/research/something important.

Why haven't I been writing?

It's easy. I got stuck. Then I got the yarn blahs. Not that it's a bad thing, but it's the fact that I just wasnt' inspired--and I think it was due, in part, to my getting stuck. remember my enthusiasm over Teva Durham's yoke vest? I was going along well, doing my increases every fourth round (I managed to figure out the decreases, and that got a lot of fun...so I'm there with my clicking Clover row counter (gosh, how I LOVE that thing...) and then I read...

"Cont to inc every fourth rond as established" (ok, I'm doing this)" for a total of 6 times, AT SAME TIME, beg working Front and Back in rows as foll:

'DIVIDE FOR ARMHOLES

Row 1: (RS) *Sl 1 (Selvedge st at armhole), left-slanting dec, k33, right slanting dec, k1, (39 sts dec to 37 sts), leave yarn hanging, ready for WS row on Front; join new ball of yarn, rep from * for Back.

Cont to work Front and Back with separate balls as foll:

Row 2 and all WS rows through Row 8: Sl 1, purl to end (this one I can figure out. I'm not that stupid.)

Row 3: Sl 1, left-slanting dec, knit to one st before next marker, inc, sl m, inc, knit to last 3 st. of this side, right slanting dec, k1-37 sts.

This may sound totally stupid. But...I had done all this increasing stuff before I got to the part that told me "AT THE SAME TIME" which totally got me discouraged. Normally, I could be fine, but after painstakingly ripping rows back and trying to figure out just when I am supposed to start increasing? I mean when do I start increasing? And maybe I'm dumb, but I got really confused when I was also reading all these increases in the instructions written in the part under the heading, "DIVIDE FOR ARMHOLES"

First lesson Stacey repeatedly learns over and over again: Make sure she reads the instructions ALL THE WAY through. Not just once. Or twice. But something like 100,000 times would be good. That way, she knows exactly what she's supposed to do (and at this point, Stacey is not sure why she's referring to herself in third person...but anyway...) And that she doesn't skip over the part where it says, "AT THE SAME TIME."

So...I threw the the knitted parts I have in my bag. It's still there, and frankly, the thought of looking at the work I've done makes me think I'm crazy sometimes, like why the heck did I do this...well, I read the instructions, but maybe my mind glossed over the "AT THE SAME TIME." Or maybe I was watching Ugly Betty at the same time, when I started doing all the increases. I'm sure that's why.

Which brings me to point number 2. I should only be allowed to knit boring things, i.e., 1x1 or 2x2 ribbed scarves, entrelac squares, or just good old stockingnette stitch while watching TV. Especially if it's Ugly Betty. If it's news, I can knit all the lace and complicated stuff I want, because I'll stop paying attention to the news, especially after they repeat the same story about the same 18 people dying in some remote area and how sad everyone is and isn't that a tragedy? for the 50 millionth time.

Third point. It's okay to knit something else instead to get out of a knitting funk. So I did. But only at SnB because I was just so...yarn-blahed. So back to the Noro Aurora scarf (still not done, but very pretty).

Fourth point. In addition to working on a rather simple, but yoga-like project, such as the Noro Aurora scarf I'm working on, it's perfectly okay to start a new, but VERY small project to get out of the aforementioned knitting funk.

So I have started a NEW project. The inspiration? If a cold, windy, Artic walk from the East end of campus to the West end of campus isn't inspiration, I dont' know what is. I never thought I looked good in hats with earflaps, but at this point, I could care less about the way I look, as long as I dont' end up with frostbite on my ears. The scarf department is fine, because I've a million thick, lush scarves (including all the furry scarves that were in vogue a year or two ago), and my gloves, well. They could be warmer, but I can handle that. Worse come to worse, i can just wear mittens over my gloves, right? Right.

So once my hat is finished, can you guess what my next project is? Unless it's 75 degrees out? Pictures of the hat in progress coming soon! I'm too lazy to actually take pics--but since I have my knitting group tonight, perhaps I'll actually have better ones when I come home!

New project!

While finishing "Palace", I knitted. I had this green yarn (that I bought from Michaels about 2 years ago for 50 cents a skein) and had no idea what to make with it...then saw a pattern in Loop-De-Loop that I thought would work with it.

Its the yoke vest pattern.

So far, good progress. Let's see how long it takes me to actually finish this project. I think I'll look cute in the vest when it's done.

In honor of January

Since it's January, and some people live in Manhattan, I give you a song that warms the soul.

Decisions

I am hopelessly addicted.

To Korean soaps/melodramas. Well, not all of them. But I am watching one called "Palace" (AKA "Princess Hours") which is completely adorable. I'm also watching "Hotelier" which I love so far. I think I have about 8 episodes left.

But the problem is this: Do I watch another disc of "Palace" or do I do work? Sigh. Decisions, decisions.

And I'm starting to look like Ugly Betty's dad in front of his Spanish language telenovellas. (Actually my dad's an even worse fan of Korean soaps).

Starting 2007

Well, now it's a new year...and hopefully one filled with lots of happiness and good things...

New Year's Resolutions:
1) Do a very good job with finances. ;) Essentially, no needless spending (outside of a limited, budgeted amount.
2) Finish various knitting projects. Including sweaters and/or vests. Anything that's not a scarf.
3) Cook one new thing each week. Meaning: Trying out new recipes, whether they be for cookies, entrees, potato dishes (my weakness!), complicated pasta sauces, Indian food (like Biyrani) etc.
4) Learn to juggle. Okay, so this was my resolution from last year. Not yet accomplished. But a whole 'nuther year to complete this task. Right?

And my boyfriend got me some nice stuff for Christmas and some things that just have me scratching my head. Nice stuff include: a hilarious William Wegman video (with the dogs and human hands), a trivial pursuit game that actually requires me to have tons of people over to play, and one of the oddest gifts was a $100 gift card to an aquarium store. Because I love fish. And I'm allergic to his cats (and I think he felt so bad that I was allergic to his cats, that he wanted to get me pet fish?) But you know, I have one fish named Seven (or maybe it's Nine, I'm not sure--the companion fish died some time ago) which has been a pet since 2000. And where will I put about 20 other fish?

But knitting content:
My friend NK gave me this awesome yarn for Christmas. She got it at a fair out in the LA area, and it's this gorgeous hand spun, hand-painted yarn, and I can't wait to knit something with it. I have to find a good pattern or inspiration for it.

Thanks NK! I LOVE this yarn!

Calendar Girls

I am gonna be in a calendar. In 2008.

Well, sort of. My SnB group has a group photo that will appear in Debbie Stoller's calendar. I hope I look okay in it. I'm the one in the red hand-knit sweater, working away on that Noro scarf...

And I'm finally figuring out fishtail lace (I don't remember what yarn it is, though. It's sky blue with sparkly silver running through it):















This makes me happy. It's only taken me how long to make this much? After much frogging and puzzling, I finally understand how lace works. Give me cables and entrelac any day.

Last night I went to a party at a former classmate's apartment. Always odd, I think, to see the folks (or at least some of them) that I went to school with. I'll admit i wasn't close to them; I consider them fine colleagues, but it always reminds me how different I am in some ways from them, or about whom i feel completely at ease with...and I guess I don't quite feel at home among certain folks...how perspectives on "fun" differ from mine at times. I suppose there are times when i feel like the odd man out, but who doesn't, at times?

I'm much more at home with my SnB group, The Hall Gang from college, or with my best friend from the other half of my program.

More tests

What Kind of Knitter Are You?

You appear to be a Knitting Adventurer. You are through those knitting growing pains and feeling more adventurous. You can follow a standard pattern if it's not too complicated and know where to go to get help. Maybe you've started to experiment with different fibers and you might be eyeing a book with a cool technique you've never tried. Perhaps you prefer to stick to other people's patterns but you are trying to challenge yourself more. Regardless of your preference, you are continually trying to grow as a knitter, and as well you should since your non-knitting friends are probably dropping some serious hints, these days.http://marniemaclean.com
Take this quiz!








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I admit it. I have this addiction for taking quizzes...and I think that the results describe me pretty well. Aran? I have no idea. I'll try it! Intarsia? Never tried it. I will sometime. This procrastinator would love to design a sweater some day. But I'm not confident enough yet, though I've got ideas.

Christmas was good--I got some money from my mom, who said that I can buy my own knitting bag, since she doesn't know what color or style to get--so Jordana Paige purse--here I come! Now I just have to decide what color to get.

My brother got me a JoAnns card, but I think I'll keep it till I see something I absolutely need. I will try my best to destash, though. But this is me...

Procrastinator!

Apparently, the holidays caught me and bit me in the butt. Because I haven't been posting much, and I have been sadly behind in my knitting projects.

I actually bought a bunch of white and black yarn with the plan to knit a piano scarf. This was about a year ago. So now I'm gettign my ass in gear, trying to create a pattern for this. It gets easier to knit over time. Apparently I was a very bad piano student because I couldn't remember what keys started where...yikes!
Last night we met up at Ann's for sushi and knitting! I know, I know. You're thinking: "Umm...Stace? You don't eat fish!"

Yeah, that's right. But....Sakura has gyozas! And shrimp tempura! YUM. It was the perfect meal--small but filling, and I think next time I go out to Montrose, I'll have to go there and try the shrimp tempura udon!

Today I had a day off so I made these (that's my watch next to the plate. i did not make that.)

I have been working a LOT this week (and last week) because of Christmas. I seriously can't wait for Christmas to be over, just so I can sleep. And prop my feet up and read a good book...or knit, of course.

So I needed to knit something. Something that wasn't entrelac (though I love it! Love it!) and I have this gorgeous Noro Aurora that was begging to be knit...so I decided to do a little something different with it. So I'm using a pattern from Last Minute Knitting gifts (note to self: go the library tomorrow to copy patterns for christmas gifts). I like the way the Noro is knitting up so far--kind of a more subtle and girly look to it. And as you may know, I'm not really girly at all.

I'm also working on a sweater, and some project that I started waaaaaaay back before my friend had a baby--which was in May. And it's not done yet.

Last night was our potluck dinner, so I made baklava (always a hit, except for the one time I experimented with lemon juice and ended up with tart baklava)

And my friend's little sister showed up at Square Records (not because she was knitting, but because she was shopping there before going to her birthday dinner) so that was great!

Oh my gosh! I am actually WRITING!

I am actually writing! I am so excited about Thanksgiving--not only because I get to gorge myself on mashed potatoes, turkey, stuffing, and pumpkin pie...but also because I don't have class tomorrow! Of course, I still have homework, but that's okay.

I am on my way to converting a few people (I hope). One is a cool girl from my statistics class (whom i have been bonding with over things that look like:
(X1-X2)/Sx1-Sx2 (ok, so I have no idea where the symbols are), but these long complicated things that have my head spinning and me wishing for yarn to soothe my nerves. Next week, hopefully, she'll be able to make it to my stitch and bitch group.

And this morning, I succumbed to Celebrity Paranormal Project, which is seriously scary. thank god it was sunny out, and was daylight. If it were night, there is no way I would have slept at all. One of the best parts is that the chicken(s) of the evening turned out to be Coolio (yes, Coolio) and Mia St. John, who apparently is a championship boxer. David Carradine is as zen-like as ever, and I have no idea what to say about the playboy bunny, except that she totally didn't flake out.

As much as it saddens me to do so, i want to see next week's episode. Mostly because Ernie Hudson is on it, and I want to see what a Ghostbuster will do. But shoot, I have my orientation next Monday, no clue how to program the tv with the VCR (long story) and I refuse to watch it at night. Hmm. I'll have to exercise some creativity here. And will need to procure a blankie when I watch that show.

Birds and Gardens

On Saturday, I went to see my friends from college--one of whom is starting to become a knitter...we made plans to go check out The Knitting Garden in Westlake before meeting our other friends for dinner at Udupi. Anyway, my friend's grandma told us that she was going to take us to this very unique yarn store in Avon, and wow. I think I'm in love with that store. Too bad it takes me an hour to get there, but I guess if I ever drive out that way, I'll stop in Avon to check out the store. It's absolutely BEAUTIFUL. Of course, I'm still living like a poor graduate student, so I bought a pattern, and that was it. The Knitting Garden was ok, but I'd choose the Birds of a Feather store over the Knitting Garden, for the ambience and the people.

Knitting. For real.

Actually, I wrote this big long post and then blogger LOST the damn thing, I guess due to some sort of "Blogger cannot connect to the server" thing. I have no idea. I'll do the best I can to actually recreate this thing. But a lot of things have happened in the past...well, however long it's been since I last posted.

• I got a new job! It's per diem, which means I'm not devoting like a million hours to work plus the million I already work at school. It's good. I'm happy. Plus it pays.
• I went to San Francisco with my parents a couple weeks ago. It was great fun--went to Fisherman's Wharf, Union Square, Ghiradelli Square, and Chinatown (of course). I did lots of shopping, but at the same time, not really. I did buy chocolates, a couple pieces of jewelry, and a cute cell phone holder.
• I went to my group's knit-in weekend at Peak n' Peek. Amy and I drove together, with Heather following us. We stopped at a bead store on the way, and had some dinner at some restaurant with lots of dead animals hanging on the walls. We were trying to find an Applebee's. Obviously it wasn't one. Anyhow, it snowed on the way up there (!!). But anyway, we all went to The Cultured Purl for their SnB group. The rest of our group from Ohio (Rae, Ann, Adrianne, Juniper, and Meg) joined us there.
• I saw this. The most amazing selection of Noro. Yum.

• Yes, I bought some.

Plus some Berocco Optik.

(Noro Aurora)

(Noro Kujaki)

(Berocco Optik)

• I left my camera at The Cultured Purl. So in fact, I have only two pictures from the whole weekend. Sigh. At least one of them has people in it. (Yes, I got it back on the way home).
• It took us quite a while to get to Peak n' Peak because of all the snow. Scary. But we made it alive. My mom said if she had known it was that snowy, she'd have been freaking out, so I suppose it's a good thing that she didn't know that it was that snowy.
• I finished my sweater! Yay! Finally. These are pictures before they were seamed up. I have it drying out now; I steam-blocked it (little too impatient to wet-block) and seamed it, and washed it. I cant' wait to wear it.

(Finally!)

• I also started a new scarf with some Noro I bought in Pittsburgh.

• On the way home, Amy and I stopped by at A.C. Moore. I bought even more yarn. I can't believe the amount of money I've spent this weekend. I am not allowed to spend more money...oh, wait, Christmas is coming up. Darn it.

Sewing machines

So now I set up my mom's sewing machine, and I can sew a straight line! I am SO excited--and have pulled out patterns that I bought several years ago (why I bought a vintage style 1940's dress pattern, I'll never know). Maybe my mind was thinking I would be a vixen like Jessica Rabbit? Or maybe I had delusional thoughts of looking like Jeri Ryan in the episodes of Star Trek: Voyager that took place during WWII (The Killing Game). I REALLY dont' have a clue.

And...I finished my entrelac scarf! Pictures of straight, sewn lines and the entrelac scarf coming soon! Yeah! Now I get to finish everything. Anyone want to keep tabs on how well I can bust my stash?

Questions

Since I don't really want to do any of my work (statistics, anyone?), I'm killing a little time by filling out enlightening questionnaires...

Amy posted these questions on her blog, and I thought I’d answer them.

1. Where is your favorite knitting spot?
I like to watch mindlesss TV shows and knit at the same time. No particular preference about where on the couch I am situated, though!

2. If you suddenly could never knit again (shudder) - what would you do instead?
I'd probably get back into jewelry design, perhaps try my hand at crochet...then get bored, and end up reading tons of cheesy popcorn books. Or maybe I'd just write. I'm not sure. I've gone long spells without knitting, and those are usually pretty full of other creative endeavours, like making purses, bracelets, postcards, etc. Plus I just end up reading books for hours.

3. If you could travel anywhere in the world - where would you go and why?
I've been wanting to go to Ireland. I'm not sure why, but everytime I watch a movie like An Everlasting Piece or some other quirky comedy that takes place in some small Irish town, I just want to go there. Maybe I have some sort of weird preconception about the personalities of small-town folks in Ireland, and I want to see if it's true. Plus, I see lots of pretty pictures of green places in Ireland, and it looks gorgeous.

4. When you were little - What did you want to do “when you grew up?” Are you doing it?
I wanted to be all kinds of things--rock star (I can't sing, though my boyfriend thinks it's cute when I start belting out Jill Sobule tunes), model (umm...I'm a size 10 and not that tall. I'd rather eat real food instead of starving myself on lettuce and water), a writer (I still want to do this, and every now and then I brush off my pens and write a few pages), an artist (though I now dabble for hobbies). Now and then I dream about being a jewelry designer (could happen), a children's book writer (again, could happen), or a chef (not likely, especially if I have to de-bone things and play with animal intestines--but maybe a pastry chef?) What I'm doing now is working in the health field and going to school for my PhD so I can teach someday.

5. What is your favorite flavor of ice cream?
I am totally in love with Handel's Girl Scout Cookie Ice Cream. The rest of the time, I'm either a peanut butter parfait or mint chocolate chip girl. This gets me in trouble with my boyfriend, who is a vanilla fan, while I'm into chocolate. Tsk.

The Amish

I am shocked to hear that anyone would go to a small Amish schoolhouse and just open fire on the girls. That's just sick. It's sick to do it to anyone, but why the Amish? Sheesh. I think part of me is shocked over that, because I have worked with Amish in the past, and of all the patients I've worked with, they are some of the nicest people I've worked with--very courteous, kind folk. They have a simple way of life, and to me, it's hard to believe that someone would just cause harm to a very insular community that does not believe in violence, etc.

Tweediness

This is something I've been working on for ... 3 years? 4 years? It's the front and back pieces of a great red sweater, and a little bit of sleeve. I've frogged it a few times, and started it, gotten lost (Rebecca seems to have a weird selvage stitch thing). But I am bound and determined to finish this thing by the end of the year. So I can wear it before it goes out of style. Following is the picture of what it's supposed to look like when it's finished.

Actually, the picture appears to be sideways. It's the red # 25 sweater next to the cute guy in #24.

It is called Red Tweed Sweater, from Rebeca #24.

Adventures in Knitting

So it HAS been quite some time since I've posted (pictures coming soon). I finished a sparkly, hairy purplish/silver/olive green scarf in Austermann's Metropolis. Yes! Almost done with the pretty fair isle scarf...which I mentioned some time ago. But...there's a slight problem.

I ran out of yarn. Daaamn. The pattern called for 2 skeins of some sort of worsted weight yarn, and I was convinced I had enough...then I took a guess and thought...well, if I stop right here, I will absolutely have enough yarn to finish. Umm. No. At least I got to finish most of the pattern, but the remaining 2 inches or so will be unknit. Unless someone has that perfect shade of Classic Elite Devon Canturbury Lime (I think that is what it's called--it's a lovely greenish color).

Also on needles: a ruffly scarf out of rainbow colored mohair, the same gorgeous red sweater I have been knitting, for, I don't know...4 years...a turquoise blue sweater (pattern in Stitch n Bitch Nation)--the one with the felted flower, a short row scarf, and an entrelac scarf. Also on a Tunisian crochet hook--a square for a baby blanket. I promise I will take pictures.

Not to mention that my SnB group wants to do a knit-a-long, which I am sorely tempted to do, and absolutely terrified that I'll get myself tangled up in cables. I like cables, but I've never knit that many on one single item. Or two, seeing as it's a pair of socks.

Israel and Lebanon

The link in this post is about teens in my area--who are from Israel. They came here about a week before the bombings. I read the article, and then I thought to myself, how awful it must be...and then I remembered that I've been in that place before.

Displaced, away from home, and seeing the homeland in turmoil. I know it's cliched at this point, but I was in Germany during September 11, and I think at that moment, there was that sense of unreality. I know the moment's been about 5 years ago, but parts of it stick to my mind so clearly.

First, the email from my friend...Oh my god, a plane just hit the World Trade Center

I tried to access cnn.com, but to no avail. I thought to myself: A Cessna? I couldn't imagine anything larger than a small plane hitting the WTC. I gave up on my emails, but was puzzled about some of the emails that came through. I went to downtown Regensburg to go shopping before meeting my class for a movie, and as I was wandering the cobblestone streets, I saw a flash of red. Jim in his red windbreaker. Next to him is my other classmate, sobbing. "A plane just hit the World Trade Center," said Jim. "And the Pentagon."

That is when I realized that it was a big thing, not just a little Cessna. Jim asked me to stay with Meesun, who was falling apart at the seams. I squeezed into the Telekom booth with her, and watched her make phone call after phone call, asking about friends in New York. Trying to get ahold of anyone at all. Tears, busy signals--and finally, a voice on the other end of the phone. "Thank God!" Meesun sobbed into the handset. Her friends were okay. Frightened and shell-shocked, but okay.

The following weeks were sort of a surreal haze; the teachers cancelled the trip to Vienna to make sure everyone was safe. I never felt more patriotic before in my life. Before, I was always conflicted.

There's a literary journal I have upstairs, Displacement, Placement, Travel, Exile (I think that's the title). And I've always felt that way in this country. That though I've been born and raised here, there's been a sort of odd feeling of never quite belonging. It took going to another country to make me realize what home was, even though I had not felt homesick until that point in time.